U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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