Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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