The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
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We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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