Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
