If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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