dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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