somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize