Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
