I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize