Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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