In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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