hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
