He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
