well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sext me about skeletons
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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