I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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