the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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