Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
