My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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