I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
