Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
