Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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