physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
