I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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