She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
