apparently the secret to your success is patron
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
