I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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