Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
