The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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