So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
