can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My penis needs a shock collar
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize