Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
