I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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