Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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