As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I love you. Go after that dick
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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