Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
