he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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