new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
