He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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