I just threw up on my dentist
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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