DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize