its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
