Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
