And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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