there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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