Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
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My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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