Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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