Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
