i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize