just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
