I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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