How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This is classic penis vs brain.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
