Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
