So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
