I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
