And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
