I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
