Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
