I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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