Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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