I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
