Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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