Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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