I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
